Insecurity is being beset by fear and anxiety. Always feeling uncertain, not sure, not confident.

Can you think of incidents in which insecurity could negatively affect a relationship?

Which one of you wants to be with a mate that you have to reassure constantly that he/she is loved, appreciated, accepted unconditionally, handsome/beautiful (most of us would think that the mate we chose was handsome or beautiful), smart, kind, loving, a good person, and that you will always be there for them?

My thought: Not many of you.

Yes, we should let our mates know daily that we love and appreciate them but it should be done from love and not from obligation.

Men, you need to verbally tell your mate you love and appreciate her as well as demonstrate your love to her. Flowers, gifts, clothes, and jewelry are all appreciated but women also want to hear their man say these words to her – “I love you.”

On the flip side of the coin, women don’t want to hear her mate tell her every day that he loves her, and at the same time disrespect her in front of others, treat her rudely, call her names, talk harshly to her, and/or physically, mentally, emotionally, or sexually abuse her.

Women, we need to let our mate know we support him, respect him, is proud of him, and has his back. We should verbalize that we love him too but I think it’s more important for us as women to demonstrate to our mates we respect and honor them.

How many of you women can truly love a man that you don’t respect?

If we don’t honor and respect him we will eventually talk to him disrespectfully, make major decisions without discussing them with him, cease communicating with him. Most women are nurturers by nature and will almost automatically give love back to someone who verbalizes and demonstrates that he loves her.

I believe Apostle Paul tells the husband to love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife to respect her husband because he realized how important ‘respect’ was to a man.

If a man knows he has the respect, honor, and admiration of the woman he loves, he can deal with all of the obstacles, hindrances, and stresses on his job.

He can handle all of the outside challenges because he knows when he enters the sanctity of his home he is in a place of respect and honor.

He doesn’t have to prove his worth to his submissive wife.

He doesn’t have to show how smart he is to his respectful wife.

He doesn’t have to jock for positions in his home with his loving wife.

I believe Paul knew if a man loved his wife, treated her royally and honorably, protected and provided for her, was willing to die for her, he would automatically receive her love. Read Ephesians 5:22-33 below and honestly assess if you are ready to be a submissive wife or a loving husband.

“22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

Did you notice that the Apostle Paul also talked about a man leaving his father and mother and being united to his wife; and the two will become one flesh?

Marriage is no joke!

Marriage is serious business as God, Jesus, and the Apostle Paul indicated.

What do you think? Do you still want to get married? Do you think you’re ready for a mate?

Tune in to my site next Saturday to read the conclusion of resting between God’s shoulders.

“Let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in him,
   for he shields him all day long,
and the one the LORD loves
   rests between his shoulders.”
—Deuteronomy 33:12 

Discuss your feelings of insecurity: