I‘ve discussed love, partnership, and godly relationships, focusing on what we, individually, need to do to prepare ourselves for our mates.
Today I’ll discuss super-sensitivity.
Super-sensitivity is someone that is easily hurt emotionally. Someone who reacts according to the attitudes and feelings of others. Someone that is excessively or abnormally susceptible to others’ comments.
Does any of you relish the thought of being married to a person you have to tip around? As if they’re walking on hot coals, and you don’t know when he/she will scream, “You hurt my feelings?”
You could say, “I love you,” as you walk out the door. By the time you get to work you have a message from your spouse that he/she was hurt because you didn’t look at them when you said, “I love you.”
I’m sure none of you shouted, “I’d love to be married to a person like that.”
Most of us have enough problems, issues, and concerns surviving day-to-day. To add a super-sensitive spouse to the mix would be more than most of us could handle.
So if any of us are a super-sensitive person, we are not ready for marriage.
We need to mature and toughen like a reptile.
We need to let the comments roll off like a duck lets the water roll off.
We need to shake the hurt feelings off like a dog shakes liquid off.
We need to look inside to see how we are contributing to the sensitivity issue.
First John 2:16 say “For all that is in the world – the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions – is not from the Father but is from the world.”
We are in the world but not of the world. We are chosen, set apart, sanctified, Holy children of God. We should not think and act the way the world does. We should not give in to the desires and emotions of the flesh, as the world does. Becoming hurt at the slightest comment, objection, or rejection.
If we walk in love as 1st Peter 4:8 tells us to do, we will be able to repel the super-sensitive feelings. The apostle Peter told us, “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.”
The apostle Paul also talked to us about love. He says to, “Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.” Romans 12:9.
In other words, we are to detest the evilness of being hyper-sensitive. Allowing our feelings to be hurt easily. Being controlled by our emotions. Letting others’ comments dictate how we act.
We need to think on things that are lovely and of a good report. We should ponder the good things and not dwell on the negative. Doing this may keep hurt feelings from creeping in and destroying a relationship.
King Solomon said in Proverbs 15:1 that “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
And in Proverbs 12:18 “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts; but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”
If we have an attitude of replying sharply, rudely, and disrespectfully to others now, that same attitude will carry over into our marriage.
We must work on the attitude problem before we get to the altar.
Paul told us in Ephesians 4:32, “Be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
Do you think one might have a forgiveness problem that causes one to be super-sensitive?
Maybe if we tried being kind to others, tenderhearted, and forgiving; others’ comments wouldn’t hurt our feelings so easily. If we were busy treating people the way we want to be treated – kind, tenderhearted, forgiving, compassionate, loving – we’d be so busy being kind to others we wouldn’t have time to react to the attitudes and comments of others.
King Solomon gave us more wisdom on handling our super-sensitivity problem. We are to be cautious of what we say and how we respond. If we want to prepare ourselves for the institution of marriage we should:
- Be wise.
- Crucify our flesh.
- Not personally internalize everything that is said to us.
As I said earlier, we need to let some things just ‘roll off.’
Instead of us wearing our feelings on our sleeves, letting others’ comments dictate how we react; we should “cast our burden on the LORD and He will sustain us.” Psalm 55:22.
Yahweh is the only one that can help us let go of super-sensitivity.
El Elyon is the one that will strengthen us when we’re feeling hurt.
Jehovah is the one that can prepare us for our godly mate.
We need to turn the sensitivity over to Jesus.
Work to conform to His image.
Turn our emotions over to Him.
Try to live according to God’s standards.