You may be able to discover the purpose of destructive behavior by the way it makes you FEEL.

I’m listing a few emotions that may surface within you when negative behavior is demonstrated and possible reasons for the frustrating conduct.


If you feel annoyed – The individual may be trying to get your attention.  Try taking notice of the person and compliment on a job well done.


If you feel irritated – He or she may be attempting to bond or connect with you.  Attempt to discover something that both have in common and connect with the individual.


If you feel powerless – Your friend, associate, or family member may be attempting to gain control over their own lives. Assess to determine if you have been dominating and influencing him/her unintentionally. If you are purposefully trying to control, STOP IT and help them gain control of their lives.


If you feel hurt – The person may feel victimized and seek to deal with their pain by seeking revenge and hurting others. Try active ‘listening’ to find out who or what hurt the person to cause them to want to harm everyone else.


If you feel helpless – The annoying actions may be from the individual feeling discouraged and he/she decides to pull away. Try offering positive reinforcement, realistic compliments, encouragement, mentoring, and assistance wherever possible.

And it goes without saying, don’t shout at the individual as the mother duck is doing in the image above. LOL

How do you handle negative behaviors?